When Style Bytes (aka Agathe) disappeared a month ago, I wasn’t too worried. She’s blogged consistently for the past three years, I thought, she’s entitled to some time off. If she didn’t leave a note explaining where she’d gone, that was okay too; after all, I’d done the same thing earlier this year. Sometimes, life gets in the way.

But when her blog went off-line last week and she didn’t respond to any of the prominent bloggers lamenting her absence, it hit me: this was no extended holiday. This was the blog world equivalent of “I need some space.” In short, we got dumped. Via the silent treatment, no less.

So, to help everyone achieve closure, I sought out advice on getting over break-ups. I want to point out, if it needs to be pointed out, is this post is totally tongue-in-cheek. Style Bytes was awesome & will be deeply missed, but I fully understand and support her desire to bin the blog. I also think she doesn’t owe anybody anything, although a quick goodbye note would’ve quelled the insanity. Anyway, onto the break-up advice:

After the relationship reaches finality, you have to break off contact or you will go mad. Don’t beg or cry. Don’t drunk-dial. Don’t write her email. Don’t send packages or CDs. Don’t dedicate a song to her on the radio. […] She will find you if she wants to.

Add to that list: don’t peep into her windows, stalk her MySpace, or any of the other vaguely scary things I’ve heard people mention. For serious.

DO get it all out. Wallow in self-pity, cry into your pillow, write bad poetry. (Link)

The wallowing I’ll leave up to you, but here’s a Style Bytes haiku:

fringe and vintage fur
she waits in wine-red lipstick
holding the black pig

Your turn.

Don’t listen to sad music.

Instead: Tecktonik!

Meet a fascinating woman: yourself. (Link)

Oh, gag. Couldn’t they just say “get some hobbies”? Like, try cooking or learning a foreign language or starting your own blog.

The way I’ve always heard it is… the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else. (Link)

Although mad bunny sex will distract you from Style Bytes’ departure, you also might try rebounding with blogs that cover similar territory. For starters:

Fops & Dandies (Into) the Fray bits and bobbins fashion is spinach THE COVETED Liebemarlene Vintage Painfully Hip hot chocolate and mint Thrift Eye

Professionally Trendy The Fashion-y Blog Fashion Toast The Cherry Blossom Girl Some Girls Wander childhood flames HEL LOOKS and PopBetty. Of course.

More breakup advice? Bad poetry? Suitable rebound blogs? Leave them below.

All images from Style.com.

I loved Alexander McQueen’s & Philip Treacy’s tribute to Isabella Blow. See the full collection here.